Layers

March 22, 2015:

There’s never any one reason for anyone to be having a bad day. We always keep piling things on, layer after layer, small and big until one day it loses balance and topples down resulting in one awful day.  That’s how it always is with me.

My day could get ruined just because I can’t find my keys, but if I pulled back a layer, I know it’s also because I lost a favorite pair of shoes. Peel a layer or two more and more reasons become clear: argument with a friend, horrible date, stressing about the future, stuck at a dead end job, feeling stuck in a place – and just like that the dominoes topple one by one until everything that is wrong is laid out in the open,.

The layers are always formed in different orders and sequences – but in mine, you lay open the last layer, and there is always you. You being gone, you moving on and always the silent knowledge that were you here and not at the foundation of my layers of dark depression, there will have been no reason for it all to pile up and be there in the first place.