June 11, 2015:
“You trust me?!” He said in a manner that was halfway between a question and a declaration – between confidence and confirmation.
I could only manage to nod in response as I looked up at him, but my eyes were shining and my breath was sharp with excitement. I felt like such a child around him. He took my right hand and led me in to the artificial abyss, where time was insignificant.
I was nervous, but I was with him and it was okay. We talked in the abyss for hours, we laughed and played. There were other people there, they saw us with their observant eyes… I always wanted to know what they thought when they saw us.
We used to watch people too, a game we played. Tired mothers, grumpy uncles and young lovers who made too much effort – they were our favorite. I liked it, made me feel we were old and familiar to each other.
When it was time to leave, he held my hand and led me safely out. My senses were shocked to see the world outside had remained unchanged – harsh and too real.
I fell in love with the abyss. I let him take me there every weekend. It was our time away from the world. Oh how we talked and laughed the days away!
Then one day, I lost him somewhere in this world that was harsh and too real. I tried to look for him, a few times I thought I found him too, but it was just an impostor. I went in to the abyss to look for him. I saw the mothers, the uncles and the lovers – they all looked at me differently now.
I couldn’t find him. Worried out of my mind, I wandered out, not stopping to realize I had never exited the place without him. I reached my right hand out and it remained unheld as all the realness of the world assaulted my senses all at once. The sun was out – bright and angry. The sounds were too loud. The people passed me by without a glace as the went ahead in life.
My senses vulnerable, my hand unheld, I wandered out in to this world that is harsh and too real… and I lost myself too!
After You Were Gone 